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Sydney, Australia
Una arquitecto en construcción de un nuevo proyecto de vida...

martes, 4 de septiembre de 2012

Expectations, attitude and migration – Part II (re-posted)

Ok, my previous post, the first one about this important topic (please read it before reading this one), talked about the expectations we have about Australia (or other country we want to “live” in) and about migration.

The last issue I addressed was about how we think we’re going to adapt sooooo quick to the new culture and to our new country, and I pointed out that it actually depended on us and some factors linked to our own attitudes, and that’s the main focus of this post.

Why? Because once we arrive in Australia, we get hit by reality and there are lots of things that we didn’t know or just didn’t want to know, or that just didn’t even crossed our minds… and how we react to those is key to a really successful or painful migration process.

Variables relating to adaptation (and how they relate to your attitude):

(1) personal strength: well, not everyone can take migration and what it involves. So, keep a close look on how you really are. If something happens that affects you emotionally, how quickly do you come out of the sadness / pain? What personal resources do you have to manage stress? How long does it take you to feel good after a “down”? Do you usually rely on other people to solve your problems? Do you usually need family support to get over things? Well… if you answer yes to the last couple of questions and it takes you a while to feel better after bad things happen, and if you don’t cope well with stress, so in synthesis, if you are not built up with a lot of personal stress, the migration process is not going to be that easy.

(2) self-esteem: if you have low self-esteem, or at some point of your life you had issues with this, be careful. Being rejected in the professional area, finding yourself alone, being stressed about having to support yourself and your family and finding yourself struggling with this, are matter that is going to affect your self esteem… FOR SURE. So, you have to be really confident in yourself (not cocky) and believe in yourself so much that no matter what comes in the way, you can stay still.

(3) self economic situation: this is very simple… if you don’t have enough money to support yourself (and your family if it applies), just don’t come here… and if you come, you HAVE TO be aware and be really comfortable to actually do whatever is necessary to survive, without any regrets and without letting it affect your self-esteem.

(4) family and friends’ support: this is very important, but not vital. Talk to your family and try to make them understand (if you don’t have their support) how important this is for you and if still the don’t support you, well, take a positive attitude and just remind yourself how vital this process is for you. Besides that not only generate a social network, work hard to maintain it, you have to nurture it and really have the willing to have new friends and a new family.

(5) openness to new situations and people: if you are arriving to a new country, to a new culture, OF COURSE you have to be open to new experiences!!! If you have an attitude that you’re going to keep your own culture no matter what, well, you are not going to do well… and I don’t mean you have to leave your culture behind (e.g.: I still dance salsa and eat arepas), however, you should want to meet other people, you should want to get to know and understand how things are done here, you have to adapt (and it goes till basic things as the pronunciation of “TOMATO” [tə-ˈmā-(ˌ)tō] – and not as in US English “tomeiro” [təˈmeɪ.t ̬oʊ])

(6) a flexible plan and goals for your new life: when you migrate COME WITH A PLAN and GOALS… but it needs to be flexible, because since you’re starting your life from scratch, you can’t be sure what it going to happen. You could relocate, you could get a job later or sooner than you wanted, you can begin having couple’s problems (yes it happens… and A LOT)… so… be flexible.

(7) knowledge about the country/city you’re migrating to: ok, not all places are the same, not all cultures are similar… soooooo, getting to know about where you’re getting into, is always a good idea because you are vulnerable to have a “Cultural Shock”. You may feel disoriented not only regarding the physical aspect of the place, but regarding the locals and most important of all, within yourself. Reading and talking to people won’t guarantee this won’t happen to you, however it’ll help in your understanding on what to expect from the new place, and how to react and behave in it.

(8) visa type: although it’s not a vital issue, the visa type you have when migrating to Australia makes a huge difference. E.g., if you have a 175 (now 189) which allows you to live wherever you want to for how long you decide, it’s a lot easier because you don’t have the constraint of deciding what you want for your life. Now, if you have a regional visa (whether permanent or temporary) it starts to get a bit constraining because you have to stay at the sponsoring city (or town) for 2 years, so if you don’t like… well, you’ll still get to be stuck in it. How to fight this feeling? Simple, research about the place (relates to the prior point), start loving it before even arriving, look for and focus only on the positive aspects on the place… and if there’s an ideal city in Australia you’d like to live, that is not the one that sponsored you, well, DON’T GO THERE, not even for a couple of days before going to you final destination… it’ll do no good. And nowwwwwwww if you came as a student, be aware that you’re gonna live in constant stress and distress, because of the uncertainty about your future.

(9) detachment to your origin place + attachment to your new city: ok, I think this puts altogether the prior points… and adds a little bit more… in order to make the aforementioned process a bit easier (liking the place you’re going to move into), you have to detach from your home town / country… and I don’t mean forgetting about it, talk trash about it, deny that part of what you are is because of that place… I mean that you have to say goodbye, embrace the reasons why you’re leaving, and most of all, be open to call a new place “home”.

(10) living in the right place for you (considering your way of living): first of all, if you’re planning to migrate, within your possibilities, chose a place that suits you... first of all the country: I always tell this example about myself… I wanted to live in a place with a better quality of life, where I didn’t need a car, where I could ride a bicycle as a transportation mean, close to the ocean, with a non-extreme weather, with employment opportunities in my area, and with a culture not so far from mine in regards as extroversion and friendliness, in addition to aspects such as respect for authorities and rules, openness to different cultural backgrounds, etc…. Soooooo…. the best country for me was (IS) Australia… then, when choosing cities, it’s just the same… look thoroughly at your lifestyle and at what you really want for yourself, and then find a cityy that matches that ideal.

(11) detachment / attachment to your family/friends/activities/things: as with places, you also have to go through a process of detachment from your family and friends… it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, and that you wont miss them from time to time, but it’s realising that you have your own life, and that you have to follow what’s best for you and the ones migrating with you (if you’re not moving by yourselves as I did). At the same time you have to be open to relate to new people, things and friends, that may become your new family… and that in the end is going to be part of your new life.

To conclude, as important as having grounded expectation, is having a positive attitude regarding your future and all the things that may come along, but the ones that at first sight seem perfect, as the ones that ar first sight seem too difficult and horrible… we have to be aware, and keep in mind that every that happens is not only because you chose that, but also, because in the end it’s going to be the best thing for you.

6 comentarios:

  1. Que tal Gaby! nos tienes muy abandonado el blog!

    Me gustaría saber mas detalles de la vida diaria como cosas que te soprenden que en tu país de origen no se veian,,sobre el comportamiento de las personas, etc..

    Si gustas agregame a tu lista de blogs yo te agregare al mio.



  2. (sin acentos)

    Hola Humberto!!!!

    Si vale, disculpen el abandono... pero definitivamente es que uno llega aca a VIVIR lo que en Venezuela no se podia jajaja... y es como si uno aprovechase cada segundo al maximo :D

    Pronto escribire un poco mas acerca de la vida aca en Oz :D

    Ya agrego tu blog a mi listado :)

    Saludos y gracias por estar pendiente...


  3. And if you're planning to go to visit your country once a year you better move to Miami because it's not going to happen. Hahaha.

  4. Well.... it's good, that's not my plan!!!! ;)

    1. And why not two or three years or more depending of the individual needs, anyone why one or two kids, start adding all the costs like school and cross your fingers than you do not have an unforeseen or unexpected expenditure like the health of one of the members of the family (I asume you know the venezuelan family where one of its members contracted cancer about 30 months ago and they still in the fight), and the $$$$ for 2 cars, petrol at real neo-liberal prices, dreaming about buying or renting a house in a REAL GOOD neighbourhood, in Melb some of the inner east, in Sydney in some of the north areas, or in Perth in the north part and NEVER NEVER in the south of Perth, or NEVER in Sydney West and South like Blacktown, Campbelltown etc, same in Melb NEVER go to live in Dallas, Jacana, Deer Park, Doveton, etc. Sure you can rent or purchase a lot cheaper in some areas but Australia has their own Petare's, may not be evident from looking to the houses or roads, and believe me as well you will find in those areas the support for your president as well, if you like I can left several internet links to those groups and some members are at the moment in Venezuela to support the Gov in the election.

      You are in Sydney well you live there and you shouldn't neglect bulding your local list of areas where to live and where NOT to live, not evident when you see the houses, please try to read both local papers (sydney morning herald & daily telegraph) and listen AM radio like 2GB and the local ABC EVERY DAY, it is nice to know what happens in Venezuela or anywhere else but neglecting the local news it is what Gaby mention "just didn’t want to know".

      In english are very polite and they will never express openly unless they know you a LOT, always you will find they are hiding behind a mask to keep for themselves the very strong opinions, remember they are Australians and not the plastic society of Americans of Florida-Miami.

      Gaby I had a very good laugh when you mention "we think we’re going to adapt sooooo quick to the new culture and to our new country", some of you will take years to addapt, read your posts and you will find out why (it may take some time/years to find out), in the meantime you can reduce your time in skype, messenger etc, reduce your latinoamerican contacts to a minimun, leave behind what you used to do in Venezuela and start to have Australian (not migrant friends), and when I mean a friend it will take years to build a really good new FRIENDSHIP.

      Well yesterday election from one side will be bad news and from the other side you have to be positive and take all the advantage of even a bad news and be positive cut the losses and it will let you think clear for the future, and try not to think as a political refugee than was given political asylum in Australia OK, forget about future elections and start thinking what senator to vote in Australia about the line, here it is your destiny and your future, please try to work for a better Australia.

      Sorry no more time to correct or add more bits, all the very best for the future.

  5. Hola gaby no había pasado por aquí pero estos últimos posts han sido los mejores! Creo que das un aproximación muy cercana a lo que es la realidad de ser inmigrante!