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Sydney, Australia
Una arquitecto en construcción de un nuevo proyecto de vida...

miércoles, 24 de agosto de 2011

Out in the open

This post is the most private and intimate one I’ve ever written. This post is meant to "talk" about a topic most people just avoid; this topic is meant to help or at least to make that people going through this don’t feel so lonely.

Another note is that this post is in English, because it has always been a way for me to talk about important issues, to talk about things I woudn't say to everyone.

Now... the issue: most couples I know have had or had at some moment rough patches along the migration process... the thing is most of them don’t say a thing because is a very private issue (as I said before). Well, I’m saying it: YES, THE MIGRATION PROCESS CAN CREATE A ROUGH PATCH OR WORSE IN ANY COUPLE.

The migration process, even if you are the strongest person in the world, even if you two are the strongest couple in the universe, can get to you. It brings out both the best and the worst in each one of you, and if it’s not handled at once, it can become the beginning of the end of your relationship.
Some of the issues that are related to this process are:
  1. There is always one person more involved than the other.
  2. There is always one person who lives, eats, dreams, thinks, etc., etc., more in Oz than in the current reality, while the other is quite the opposite.
  3. There is always one person that is more careful with the money and saves EVERYTHING while the other is not so “conservative”.
  4. There is always one person who wants to go away from your original country than the other.
  5. There is always one person who can handle more stress than the other.
And all that is just in the process of the visa application, not after actually migrating to Oz... I think that list covers some of the repetitive issues among couples. Besides those, there are the day-to-day problems, which are enhanced by the list aforementioned. So it can also create (if you don’t already have...) communication, trust, confidence, so-on-and-on issues.


But not talk about it superficially; really deepen in each topic, even if you don’t like what you hear from your partner... and if you are not a very communicative person, well, BECOME ONE. Plan strategies to aboard every single one of the issues that may come up; and if you see something odd happening, don’t let it pass.

Be patient, be assertive, be loving, and be caring... be tolerant, be a listener, be the best friend of your partner above all (even more than being a wife or husband)... be understanding.

If not, prepare yourself for having at least a rough patch... if not, for breaking up with the love of your live... it may happen.

So... in any way, be prepared... it might be the difference between going together in one way, or going two ways separately.

8 comentarios:

  1. At first, when I started reading I was wondering 'Why is she writing the entire post in English? She types everything in Spanish as far as I know...'

    But now it makes sense... When I wrote the first couple of posts in my blog, had the same impression and put it into words (almost same as you), but now I have to ask, are you ok?

  2. Gaby, un tema duro pero muy cierto... Si la pareja sobrevive a este paseo, que es verdaderamente fuerte, queda claro que podrá sobrevivir a cualquier cosa.
    Nosotros dos también pasamos por ahi, ambos nos veíamos en AU pero él era el que más estaba metido en el papeleo y proceso, luego con el no del papa de mi chamo pues se puso peor la cosa y estuvimos a punto de caramelo por mi poco control de momentos de mucha tensión y stress, pero él supo ser paciente y supo ayudarme y en algún momento yo me dejé ayudar y pudimos salir bien.
    Espero que uds esten bien y hayan podido pasar cual rústico 4x4 por esos obstáculos. Un abrazo.

  3. Hey! I hope everything works fine between you two!, well, as you say, one person is more involved with the whole process than the other one. That happens.


  4. Hola chic@s... gracias por su comentarios... pues bueno:

    @Rod: it's easier, isn't it?... well, I'm ok

    @Adri: que buena la asociación con lo del rústico 4x4, definitivamente es así!!!! Que bueno que ustedes pudieron pasar ese rough patch que todos pasamos... ya les contaré en algún momento de nosotros ;)

    @Rey: gracias por tus deseos... y bueno, definitivamente eso pasa (pero nadie habla de eso jejeje)

  5. Gaby, espero todo ok! El hecho es que sí, es difícil, y una vez que emigras y tienes que luchar con todo lo que implica estar tan lejos, la cuestión se intensifica. Pero tranquila, cuando hay amor, todo se soluciona, y si no, it was not meant to be. Un abrazo!

  6. Hola tocaya... gracias por tu comentario.

    Definitivamente cuando hay amor hay siempre esperanza que las cosas se solucionen, pero igual hace falta mucha voluntad y paciencia... y bueno, como tú dices, si no se soluciona es porque no debía ser, y el final siempre pasa lo mejor que tiene que pasar :)


  7. My friend, that's my everyday lunch. In fact, this topic deserved a whole thread in aussie neighbor...

    In spite of the hope and faith about the future, dealing with a mass of problems and errands is completely appalling and dreadful, specially in Venezuela. As a couple, we have to be strong.

    Things like keeping a house, planning holidays, or even going out with friends can be a bit stressful or complicated due to the policy about savings, as well as the time for improving your skills before you move out.

    I know what you mean dear, but this is the way it is.

    In my case, I normally say to BACALAO that migration is like war: I don't know if we are going to win, but we are going to fight until the end.

    Be strong, you shall prevail.

  8. Well yes... you're right my friend... this is like war with too many battles... and you have to keep fighting till the end or at least till you can.

    About the topic in Aussie Neighbor, there is one: http://aussieneighbor.freeforums.org/problemas-parejas-t1532.html?hilit=problema%20pareja

    I will post this in there.